I’m walking when I should be sleeping.
I’ve tried out-walking my shadow
And it only got farther ahead.
I saw my breath in the air
And I am convinced it was pieces of my soul
Being pulled from my body.

I find myself constantly thinking about how I could die today.

Nothing normal either.

Malnutrition, sleep deprivation, exhaustion.

The only normal one:
a fucking car accident.

I eat one meal a day because its all i can stomach.
The hours after work are spent hyper focusing on
Anything besides the buzzing in my
Head.

A manic acceleration of daily life at the speed of light on fucking cocaine.

(Its a metaphor, I don’t use cocaine)

I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of tears
But they’re swallowed by the clock in my head and turned into liquid nuclear fusion
Ionizing my neurons with bursts of gamma rays.

A mass of swirling breathing violent particles
decimating each other until I’m
A star collapsing on itself the day after its formation
Into the most super massive black hole in the universe
swallowing everything.

I hold metal strings until my fingers bleed
And I’m getting really good at it.

I move everyday as a passenger in this vessel
Sitting precariously at the edge of
A cliff inside my own head
And burdened with constant flight or fight adrenaline.
I wish I would jump or go back to safe ground already.

The mirror and scale say two different things
So someone is lying.

It might just be me to myself but I’ll never know because I don’t trust myself to be dishonest.

I want the churning to stop
I want to slow down
I want to regain control of my breathing.

I look for a pulse everyday
And although I expect it to be off the charts
I never find it.

That must mean I’m dead, right?
I thought about all the veins in my body
Exploding simultaneously
The other day.
I would be a pulpy purple mess.
Maybe that happened.
Some of the capillaries in my eyes broke,
That was probably the start.

Every noise is an explosion
It breaks all my bones and
Leaves me clenching my jaw
And gritting my teeth.

Check out my friend and I’s summer fun project. Deputy/Detective. We’ll have our EP available as soon as we figure out our pay pal situation.

But for now have a free download of our cover of Somebody That I Used To Know!